This world…
…is not built for me
as a neurodivergent brown woman.
Oldest daughter of immigrant parents. Simultaneously the eldest and one of the youngest in a sprawling family.
Intelligent but different.
I am a cycle breaker.
The usual
standard
typical
normal
will not work for me-
I have to find my own way. Carve my own path. It is difficult and lonely work. I will upset those I long to appease.
But
What I will come to realise is that my authenticity is valued by the outside world. This is difficult to accept because all my childhood I was given the message that my authentic self was wrong. It did not fit the mould; conformity was more important than authenticity.
My power lies in my ability to reject. My power lies in my fight for my autonomy.
But
I also want to belong. This is my core contradiction. Which is why I find myself belonging with people who also don't belong.
Belong WITH, not belong TO.
It is my job to create a community out of a bunch of people who like me, value their autonomy. Together we can find exactly what we need within each other-
and that's beautiful.