a letter to myself in the worst moment

I know it feels like there is no way out; that this thing occupying your brain space is the only thing that's of importance, or value, right now. BUT IT'S NOT. You are of importance, you have value, and when you fixate on someone (or something) else you are negating your own worth. Why should they (or it) get all of your attention?

Ask yourself:

Is the thing that I am worried about something permanent? Is it a great big loss? Or is it simply a bump in the road? 

Does it require decision making and action from you? Or is it a storm that needs riding out?

Is it just one thing? Or a culmination of things? List all of the things going on for you right now.

Your brain is special. It is smart and creative,  yet cruel. You know this. When threatened it attacks itself. It turns in on itself. The key to getting through this phase of distress (and it is a phase) is recognising that you don't deserve its vitriol. No one does. 

Remember you have conditions. You know this now, you're not blindly fumbling through life thinking you're crazy or unhinged or selfish or whatever unkind words you used to think. Your thoughts make sense in the context of your brain chemistry, but do not give them your power. They may be your truth RIGHT NOW, but you have the ability to change that.

I know it's difficult to soothe a wound that you've created yourself. Maybe that's why you struggle to self-validate in your darkest moments? Accept that. Share that when you reach out to others. Share your darkness in order to invite in the light.